I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just tell him i said nine months
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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