i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She announced her abortion via fbk
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
