hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
