remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize