her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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