ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
