Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
