i jhust puked up my retainher.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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