the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
