"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
