Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My feet surprised me
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