...so i touched it.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
