He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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