Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
