Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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