i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My vagina is officially offended.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
