I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
