Having a random hookup so left but love u
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
