What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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