We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
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He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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