Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
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