you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
