Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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