Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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