we have pet lesbian snakes
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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