He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
