well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
