He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
