I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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