Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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