i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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