You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
