you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
