Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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