just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize