I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
