Nicole vs. Life
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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