Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize