the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
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He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
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strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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