3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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