i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
