We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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