So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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