If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
