dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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