I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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