It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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