win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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