i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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