Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
