I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
