One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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