Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
