dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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