my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
where are you?
Hypothermia
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
