The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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