I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
